"Atop the set of thirty steps stood two unwelcoming men wielding spears with each iron head pointed directly at you.
'Stop, stranger!' one man called out.
'State your business,' the other finished."
I felt had to be changed to
"Atop the set of thirty steps stood two unwelcoming men wielding spears. Their heads angled downward at your approaching figure, but they remained calm as you reached the summit of the palace.
'State your business,' one guard piped up, repositioning his spear."
Would someone really point a weapon at a defenseless woman? I dunno...certainly not in the time period the anime/manga is set, but what about in our current time period? Just some food for thought.
Anyway, the lady version of the story will be posted soonish. Yay!
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